Reid Smith on Small Group Vital Signs

I'm excited to see that churches, groups, and individuals are not only reading Small Group Vital Signs but actually starting to use it in their ministries. I've had the opportunity to talk through it with a college class studying small groups as well as a group of small group ministers in Central Ohio. Today, I'm sharing the words of one of the coolest guys on the planet and someone who really knows about small groups, Reid Smith:

We all want our leadership and our groups to be overflowing with God’s transformational, reproducing power. Michael doesn’t mince words on what it takes to get there. Whether it’s for the new or veteran group leader, look no further for a guide that is both practical and insightful as it draws from the Bible’s unlimited reservoir of wisdom.
 

A generous disclosure of Christ-centered principles that will cultivate health in new groups and rekindle God’s fire in existing ones. Look no further for a book that is practical without being boring and comprehensive without being shallow.
 

Michael continues his legacy of resourcing the Church with biblical keys to foster transformational leadership and group dynamics. Taken to heart, this reliable guide will revolutionize your personal or church’s group-life because it’s grounded in God’s Word and focuses on health. 

 

Reid Smith is Director of Adult Ministries at the 20,000 member multi-site Christ Fellowship Church in Palm Beach, Florida. He is a regular contributing author to smallgroups.com and rightnowtraining.com through his small group training and resource ministry called 2orMore.  

Reid is also on Twitter and Facebook. I love reading Reid's blog. He challenges my thinking about discipleship, small groups, and community. Be sure to add Reid to your people to follow. I promise you'll learn from him!

7 Steps for Dealing with the Little Jerry Parasites that Are Making Your Group Unhealthy

A couple days ago on my blog, I introduced "Little Jerry," a pet name for my little parasite friend I had living in my body several years ago. Read the post here. I talked about how parasites can also come into your church or group and the unhealthy effects they can have on the Body.

To get healthy again, you must take this parasite seriously! Don't fool around, thinking the issue will get better over time. Parasites can and do suck the life out of a body, leaving it malnourished and dysfunctional (that is, unable to function properly), and, if left untreated, the results can be fatal.

To alleviate my illness, the doctor prescribed strong antibiotics that killed and eliminated Little Jerry. That's where, fortunately, the metaphor breaks down. As a spiritual leader, your job is not necessarily to eliminate (although there may need to come a time for that) and definitely not to kill the "parasite." Even those who are selfishly feeding off the Body of Christ can be transformed. That happens in community, by being united with Christ and fellow believers. As people grow spiritually, the goal is to become more like Christ,

who, being in very nature God,
     did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing,
     taking the very nature of a servant,
     being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
     he humbled himself
     and became obedient to death--
     even death on a cross! (Philippians 2:6-8).

Yes, that's the awesome power of the gospel. People can be transformed. Even "parasites" can develop into humble servants!

Here are a 7 steps for dealing with group members who act as parasites (consumers):

1. Pray for them, surrendering your thoughts and feelings over to God and asking Him to begin the healing process.
2. Love him or her unconditionally, but with boundaries. Listen well to her. Where does he hurt? What obstacles are in her way to growth?
3. Ask him to serve together with you in some capacity. Be prepared for teachable moments to mentor and disciple her. Help him to see the grander purpose in his life that God has given him. Often, knowing and getting involved in his God-given purpose will turn a person from being inward- to outward-focused.
4. As mentioned in #2, be sure to set boundaries. It's critical to put the good of the body - the group - over the selfish needs of one parasitic member. That may require some tough love as you meet with this person after meetings. Be very specific with what and where these boundaries are. 
5. Carefully and lovingly apply Matthew 18:15-17. Allow God's Word and His Spirit to lead you. 
6. Refer the person to someone who can help. This may include pastoral counseling or a Christian counseling center. From my experience, a person who tends toward always taking and never giving also does not see this in themselves. They may even feel they are a very giving person, but even that feeling is all about them! This step may involve a difficult conversation, but remember that you are looking out for this person's interest, not your own. Lovingly help him or her get to the place where he or she can grow and be transformed.
7. If this person cannot or will not become a productive, contributing member of the group - and after you've tried all the steps above and exhausted all your resources - you may finally need to ask this person to leave the group. Again, don't leave them stranded, but refer them to a counselor that can help. Be firm, however, that until they take the steps they need to take, they cannot attend group meetings. This may be the most loving thing you can do for them and for the health and vitality of your group.

As a spiritual leader, you have an incredible opportunity to bring health and vitality to the Body. As the Head over His Body, this is Jesus' intent - to bring unity. "From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work" (Ephesians 4:16).

By the way, my favorite book for dealing with challenging group members is Pat Sikora's Why Didn't You Warn Me? (Standard Publishing, 2007). 

Little Jerry ... and his unhealthy effect on your group

A few years ago I was sick - really sick. I lost about 20 pounds, had stomach aches, constantly felt nauseous, and had a number of other symptoms you really don't want to know about. The doctors ran lots of tests, and finally, after four weeks, discovered the problem. I had a parasite. Giardia intestinalis, to be precise, a microscopic single-celled parasite that makes it's home in the intestines. I just called it "Little Jerry."

It is somewhat unsettling to know you have something living inside of you, feeding on you, exploiting your body while contributing nothing in return. It's amazing to see how microscopic organisms can affect the whole body. For weeks I was unable to function normally. I didn't work. I couldn't exercise. I nearly stopped functioning.

Something very similar happens when the Body of Christ gets infected with parasites. You know what I mean: people come into the church or your small group (which, by the way, is the church) only to take from it, not to give. Today we often call this "consumerism." Regardless of what its called, it affects the whole Body, and if not cared for, can make it so sick it cannot function at all. These "parasites" pay no heed to Paul's instructions in the second chapter of his letter to the Philippian church:

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others (Philippians 2:3-4).

Relationships in the Body of Christ are designed to be symbiotic, not parasitic. In symbiotic relationships, each part benefits the other, and both benefit the whole (synergy). This is a good definition for authentic Biblical community. 

In my next post, I'll share a prescription for the Little Jerrys in your group. 
 

Prescriptions for a Healthy Group - Repost from 1996

You're getting fat. Too many Ho Ho's. Not enough exercise. You're constantly sick and nearly anemic. If you don't do something soon, this may turn into something really serious. Don't take it personally—I'm talking about your group … well, many groups anyway.

When it comes to good health, small groups are a lot like people. We have to take care of the body, or something can go wrong. Here are seven tips to keep your group in great health.

1. Eat balanced meals. Your group needs a good balance of proteins (Bible study), starches (fellowship and support), vegetables (training and equipping), fruit (of the Spirit, that is—ministry to others and outreach). Too much of one category while neglecting the others can eventually cause sickness.

Also, you can't live on fast food or junk food. A fast-food diet consists of five minutes of prayer and ten minutes of Bible study.

Fellowship is necessary in a group, but it should not crowd out the essentials. Junk food consists of "careless words" (Matthew 12:36), "meaningless words" (1 Timothy 1:6), "godless chatter" (2 Timothy 2:16), and all kinds of foolish talk (Proverbs 10:14, 19-21; Ecclesiastes 10:12-14; Esphesians 5:4). Those contain too much fat and not enough nutrients for a healthy body.

2. Get your RDA of vitamins and minerals. A healthy group gets its recommended daily allowance of Bible study and prayer. That means that for a group to continue to grow, the individual group members must practice these disciplines daily. As each person grows stronger in his or her relationship with God, the whole body is strengthened.

3. Get plenty of exercise. If all you do is eat, you'll eventually get so fat you can't get out of your chairs. A group that constantly eats is an inward-focused group. That focus feels good for a while, but it's an unhealthy habit in the long run. You've got to put the food you eat—especially those proteins—into action.

There are several types of exercises that will give your group a healthy, outward focus. One type is isometric. This includes activities you can do right in your chairs: worship and prayer. Isometric exercises are vertical in nature. The other type of exercise—serving others—is horizontal in nature.

One warning: Do not try to exercise without eating a good, balanced meal first. In other words, you need to have the meat of the Word and prayer, the nutrients that come from training and equipping, plus the support you get from fellowship before you can effectively minister to others.

4. Get plenty of rest. Even a healthy group needs to take a break once in a while to rest, rejuvenate, and refresh. A group that does not get enough rest will burn out. Rest is an essential function in a healthy body.

5. Practice good hygiene. A group that doesn't take care of itself begins to stink. Group hygiene—planning for the future, talking about problems, working on schedules, determining what the "rules" are—may seem like little things, but if things aren't taken care of on regular basis, the group is susceptible to all kinds of diseases.

6. Get regular checkups. How do you know if your small group is in good health or not? The same way you know if your own body is—you monitor the symptoms.

Regular checkups—that is, group evaluation—can help a group avoid problems later. When you conduct a group checkup, you examine all the parts of the body to be sure everything is in good health. You ask questions and allow members to talk about how they feel. (Click here for a free small group health assessment.)

If you find any problems, you start fixing them right away. Sometimes, you just need a small shot of enthusiasm. Other times you need major surgery. But if you don't evaluate regularly, you'll never know.

7. Be prepared for the occasional emergency. Even healthy groups sometimes have a problem. The best thing to do when this happens is to take care of it immediately. If you notice a sudden problem in your group, call 911 right away. Deal with the situation yourself if possible; but, if not, call in your small group coach or minister to give advice or help you handle it.

Don't let problems—such as chronic lateness or absence; unhealthy attitudes; sinful, unrepentant lifestyles; or lack of growth—fester until you have a life-threatening situation on your hands. Accidents, illnesses, even major catastrophes are part of life. A strong small group, with the support of the church's small group ministry team, can deal with them in healthy ways as they come.

Too many groups die because they did not take good care of themselves. Don't let it happen to your group.

________

I wrote this article for SmallGroups.com way back in September 1996.  This was the first time I thought about or wrote about the health of a small group. I had actually forgotten about this article until just recently when I was reading articles on SmallGroups.com, the ministry I founded in 1995, now owned and operated by Christianity Today.

See more about the vital signs of a healthy small group in my new book, Small Group Vital Signs: Seven Indicators of Health That Make Groups Flourish, which was released last week. 

Alan Danielson on Small Group Vital Signs

Small Group Vital Signs is now shipping. If you have not yet received your copy, you can order it here today! By the way, you can also get a digital version of the book and start reading as soon as you download it. Just go HERE to get started. 

 As the book begins to ship, I want to share what Alan Danielson had to say:

"In Small Group Vital Signs, Mike makes you really think about your small group ministry.  He forces you to wrestle with the big questions, so you won't settle for groups that are "good enough."  Instead, you'll long for all of your small groups to be GREAT!  This is a powerful read that is not for small group wimps!"

Alan Danielson is 
Senior Pastor at New Life Bible Church in  Norman, Oklahoma. Alan has spoken at the Willow Creek and Saddleback small groups conferences as well as the RightNow Conference. He is one of my favorite bloggers, writing regularly about small groups, leadership, mission, and discipleship at Triple-Threat Solutions. 

I have used Alan's excellent book, Triple-Threat Leadership, with the small groups ministry teams at our church. Coming to an understanding of the different leadership styles on our team has benefited us greatly. We have talked through these styles as well as our roles on the team and how we can most effectively work together, and we still often refer to Alan's Triple-Threat Leadership graphic. I just read Alan's blog entitled, "The Real Reason for the Conflict on Your Team," and the same could be said for conflict in your group. 

Like any practical book, Alan's includes an assessment--one to assess the leadership styles of people on your team or in your group.

It's here!

Here's what was waiting for me when I got home from the office this evening ... my author's copies of Small Group Vital Signs. It's one thing to see manuscripts and proofs on my laptop screen, and it's quite another to have the actual book in my hands. It looks really good, thanks to the hard work of  Randall Neighbour at TOUCH. (See Randall's short blog about the book here.)

I'm more excited about the potential for this book than anything else I've written. I share a lot of stories as illustrations in the book, but there are also a lot of stories I'll someday tell that happened as I wrote the book. Stories of God's leading as well as the enemy's detours. And so it's a bit of a celebration for me to actually hold it in my hands today.

Rick Warren on Muslims, Evangelism, and Missions

My friend Ben Reed, a fellow small group pastor (Grace Community Church in Clarksville, Tennessee), writer, and the Small Groups Network marketing director, sent me an email earlier today that contains a letter from Rick Warren to his church staff at Saddleback Church and an interview Warren did in response to some misinformation about him and Saddleback. I thought it was worth sharing here. One of the things I hope you will notice is how Warren discusses the evangelistic role of small groups. Good stuff.

Dear staff,

               A few days ago, an article appeared in the Orange County Register that included some outrageous statements about Saddleback that were incorrect.  Of course, the media rarely gets everything right, and there’s no way we could respond to every false statement made about us.  But I felt this article created so many misperceptions that I agreed to do an interview in response.  Here is it below.  Please read it all, then forward it to everyone you know would be interested.

Thanks!     

Pastor Rick

RICK WARREN ON MUSLIMS, EVANGELISM & MISSIONS

with Brandon A. Cox & Christian Post

QUESTION: Do people of other religions worship the same God as Christians?

WARREN: Of course not. Christians have a view of God that is unique. We believe Jesus is God! We believe God is a Trinity: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Not 3 separate gods but one God. No other faith believes Jesus is God. My God is Jesus. The belief in God as a Trinity is the foundational difference between Christians and everyone else. There are 2.1 billion people who call themselves Christians… whether Catholic, Orthodox, Protestant, Pentecostal, or Evangelical…and they all have the doctrine of the Trinity in common.

QUESTION: A recent newspaper article claimed you believe Christians and Muslims worship the same God, that you are “in partnership” with a mosque, and that you both agreed to “not evangelize each other.” You immediately posted a brief refutation online. Can you expand on that?

WARREN: Sure. All three of those statements are flat out wrong. Those statements were made by a reporter, not by me. I did not say them ...  I do not believe them... I completely disagree with them ... and no one even talked to me about that article!   So let me address each one individually:  First, as I’ve already said, Christians have a fundamentally different view of God than Muslims. We worship Jesus as God. Muslims don’t. Our God is Jesus, not Allah. Colossians 2:9 “For in Christ dwells all the fullness of the Godhead bodily.”   Second, while we urge our members to build friendships with everyone in our community, including Muslims and other faiths, (“Love your neighbor as yourself”), our church has never had any partnership with a mosque.  Friendship and partnership are two very different levels of commitment. Some of our members have hosted a Bible study with Muslim friends, which I applaud, but I’ve never been to it, and a Bible study certainly isn’t any kind of partnership or merger! It’s just crazy that a simple Bible Study where people explore Scripture with non-Christians would be reported as a partnership and others would interpret that as a plan for a new compromised religion. Just crazy!  Third, as both an Evangelical and as an evangelist, anyone who knows me and my 40 year track record of ministry knows that I would never agree to “not evangelizing” anyone!  I am commanded by my Savior to share the Good News with all people everywhere, all the time, in every way possible! Anyone who’s heard me teach knows that my heart beats for bringing others to Jesus.

QUESTION: That same article mentioned that you ate an Iftar dinner with Orange County Muslims. What is that all about?

WARREN: It’s called being polite and a good neighbor. For years, we have invited Muslim friends to attend our Easter and Christmas services and they have graciously attended year after year. Some have even celebrated our family’s personal Christmas service in our home. So when they have a potluck when their month of fasting ends, we go to their party. It’s a Jesus thing.  The Pharisees criticized him as “the friend of sinners” because Jesus ate dinner with people they disapproved of. By the way, one of my dear friends is a Jewish Rabbi and my family has celebrated Passover at his home, and he attends our Christmas and Easter services.  I wish more Christians would reach out in love like Jesus.

QUESTION: Why do you think people who call themselves Christians sometimes say the most hateful things about Muslims?

WARREN: Well, some of those folks probably aren’t really Christians. 1 John 4:20 says, “If anyone says, ‘I love God,’ yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.” And 1 John 2:9 says “Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness.”  I am not allowed by Jesus to hate anyone.  Our culture has accepted two huge lies: The first is that if you disagree with someone’s lifestyle, you must fear them or hate them. The second is that to love someone means you agree with everything they believe or do. Both are nonsense. You don’t have to compromise convictions to be compassionate.

QUESTION: Let's talk about evangelism. In the past 10 years, Saddleback Church has baptized over 24,000 new believers. No other church comes close to that record. You are likely the most evangelistic church in America. What's the key?

WARREN: We are willing to do what many other churches are unwilling to do. We are willing to go beyond our comfort zone.

QUESTION: For instance?

WARREN: Because Jesus commanded us to take the Gospel to everyone, I spend much of my time with groups of people who completely disagree with what I believe. I’m constantly trying to build a bridge of love to nonbelievers, to atheists, to gays, to those I disagree with politically, and to those of other faiths. We don't wait for these people to come to church; we go to them and share with them on their turf, not ours. Every member is a minister and a missionary. Saddleback was a missional church 30 years before the term became popular. We just called it being “purpose driven”.

QUESTION: “Building a bridge” sounds like compromise to many people.

WARREN: Building a bridge has nothing to do with compromising your beliefs. It's all about your behavior and your attitude toward them. It's about genuinely loving people. People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care. Before people ask, “Is Jesus credible?” they want to know if you are credible. Before people trust Jesus they must trust you. You cannot win your enemies to Christ, only your friends. It's part of what Paul calls “the ministry of reconciliation.” It is Christ-like to treat people with dignity and listen to them with respect.

QUESTION: Why are most Christians so ineffective at sharing their faith?

WARREN: I have a whole seminar on that! First, they don't really have any unbelieving friends. They spend all their time with other Christians. As a result, they are afraid to share their faith because it feels unnatural to them. For most people to come to Christ, you must build a relationship with them first. You must love them. The truth is, most Christians love everything else more than the people around them that Jesus died for. Second, many don't really believe that people are lost without Christ. Third, many Christians are afraid of the criticism they will receive from other Christians if they hang out with unbelievers. It was the religious people who hated Jesus the most. They criticized him for associating with tax collectors and lepers and prostitutes and politicians and going to parties. Lost people loved Jesus but the religious folks saw his associations as dangerous compromise. The same is true today. Modern Pharisees still use guilt by association as a weapon. Just read the blogs. They'd rather hunker in a bunker and attack those courageous enough to reach out to non-Christians. I do not fear the disapproval of others. I fear the disapproval of God on my disobedience to what he has clearly commanded us to do.

QUESTION: What is the P.E.A.C.E. plan?

WARREN: It is a biblical strategy of ministry based on five activities Jesus modeled in his ministry. Saddleback members have been beta testing it for the past nine years all around the world. Each letter of P.E.A.C.E. represents one of five things Jesus taught his disciples to do: P stands for Plant churches. E stands for Equip leaders. A stands for Assist the poor. C stands for Care for the sick. E stands for Educate the next generation. The PEACE plan is accomplished by local churches through local churches. It is based on three passages of Scripture and the specific instructions Jesus gave to his teams that he sent out. There are at least a dozen major differences between the PEACE Plan and the traditional, typical mission program of NGOs and parachurch organizations of the past 100 years. It is a return to the missional strategy.

QUESTION: What is the PEACE Center?

WARREN: Based on Jesus’ instructions in Acts 1:8, we practice the PEACE Plan in three dimensions: PERSONALPEACE – my ministry to those closest to me; LOCAL PEACE -our congregation’s ministry to our community; andGLOBAL PEACE - serving other local churches around the world as those congregations do their own local PEACE.  The PEACE Center is the building on our church campus that houses about three dozen of our 300 ministries to the community. It offers our food bank, job training, family counseling, legal aid, car repair, tutoring, English as a second language, legal immigration assistance, and many other ministries.

QUESTION:  I read an article that claimed you were building a PEACE Center to bring Muslims and Christians together in peace.

WARREN: It was the writer’s mistake. He got two different stories confused.  Our recently opened PEACE Center, on the Saddleback Church campus has NOTHING ...zero... to do with our Muslim friends.

This is an example of why I always doubt what I read in newspapers and blogs about ministries. Secular reporters trying to cover churches and theological issues often get it wrong. But then Christian bloggers, instead of contacting the ministry, blindly believe, quote and repost the errors made by secular reporters. Then those errors become permanent, searchable, and global on the Internet. I couldn’t count the number of times a secular reporter has gotten a story about Saddleback wrong but then it is perpetuated by Christians who never fact-check.  And the three factors I mentioned about the Internet make it impossible to correct all the misperceptions, and outright lies that get repeated over and over.

QUESTION: You mentioned legal immigration services. How many languages do Saddleback members speak?

WARREN: At last count, I heard we speak 76 languages in our church family. One of our 10 values, the “A” in our S.A.D.D.L.E.B.A.C.K. strategy, is that we are an ALL-nation congregation. We are a multi-ethnic church. We want our congregation to look like heaven will look – with every age, race, tribe, and economic background represented.

QUESTION: What is the goal of your ministry?

WARREN: To know Christ and make Him known! To live out Jesus’ Great Commandment and Great Commission! In fact, this has been the motto of Saddleback Church since we started it in 1980: “A great commitment to the Great Commandment and the Great Commission will grow a great church.” Everything we do comes out of these two great texts. God's five eternal purposes for both our lives and the church proceed from these verses. The Purpose Driven Church and The Purpose Driven Life explain this in detail.

QUESTION: Through the PEACE Plan, Saddleback became the first local congregation in 2000 years of Christian history to send its members to literally “every nation” as Jesus commanded.

WARREN: That's correct.

QUESTION: How did you accomplish that?

WARREN: By taking Jesus’ command seriously. When Jesus said, “Go to EVERY nation” we asked ourselves as a church family, “Has any local church in 2000 years ever actually done that? If not, why don't we be the first!” So we set a goal to send our members to every nation of the world to do the five tasks of the P.E.A.C.E. Plan by the end of 2010.  Of course I know that the Greek ta ethne refers to people groups or tribes not political nations, but you have to start somewhere! So we decided that we would send our members on mission to all 197 nations in the world. (There are 195 nations in the United Nations. The only two nations not in the United Nations are Taiwan and Serbia.) On November 18, 2010, a Saddleback team went to the last nation, #197, a small island in the Caribbean called, St. Kitts. Now, our goal for the next decade, which we call our Decade of Destiny is to mobilize a network of churches who will commit to planting new churches in the final 3,600 unengaged people groups that still do not have a Christian church.

QUESTION: How many members did you send out to complete your church’s goal of taking the gospel to every nation?

WARREN: 15,867 members were sent out. Of course, we’ve gone way past that in the last year.

QUESTION: What is your mission goal this year?

WARREN: Within a year from this Easter, we intend to plant new churches in 12 strategic cities around the world as resource centers and base camps for the greater goal of planting churches in the 3600 unengaged people groups.

QUESTION:  What are those 12 cities?

WARREN: Tokyo, Berlin, Johannesburg, Bangalore, Buenos Aires, Hong Kong, London, Freetown, Moscow, Mexico City, Amman, and Manila.  Anyone who’d like to be a part of the team should contact me atPastorRick@saddleback.com or on Twitter, Facebook, or LinkedIn.

QUESTION: Are you promoting Chrislam?

WARREN: Of course not. It's the lie that won't die. No matter how many times we refute it and correct that lie, people keep passing it on as truth. Jesus is the only way to salvation. Period. If I didn’t believe that, I’d get into a much easier line of work! But I do believe that everybody needs Jesus and I am willing to put up with false statements and misunderstandings in order to get the Gospel out.

QUESTION:  What are your greatest frustrations about evangelism?

WARREN: That Christians would rather argue than evangelize. That people are more interested in winning arguments that in winning people. That people are more interested in making a point than in making a difference. That people put politics above the souls of people. That people are more afraid of guilt by association than allowing others to go to hell.

QUESTION: If anyone wants to learn or teach their church how to be more effective in evangelism and missions what should they do?

WARREN: Write to me at PastorRick@saddleback.com and ask me for an invitation to the group of leaders I train each week through a private webcast.

QUESTION: Any last word?

WARREN: Reach one more for Jesus! Anyone who’s read Purpose Driven Life knows those were my father’s last words and deathbed instructions to me. It is the theme of my life and I invite you to make it yours.  Nothing is more important than the eternal destiny of those around us.

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