Learn How to Lead a Small Group Discussion from Jim Lehrer

Today on The Dennis Miller Show, the aforementioned Mr. Miller was interviewing Jim Lehrer about what it takes to moderate a political debate. Here are two simple techniques that we as small group leaders can learn from Lehrer.

1. The focus is on the participants, not the moderator. Some moderators are better than others at this. It's a learned skill, Lehrer said, not an innate ability. Small group leaders must learn to keep the focus on the participants, not themselves. The leader's job is not to teach a lesson, where everyone's attention is on him or her, but to facilitate (or moderate) a discussion in which participants hear from God as they share with one another. How does a good leader facilitate this? Lehrer's second comment is helpful.
2. A moderator must prepare in such a way that he is relaxed enough to listen. Anyone can write and ask great questions, Lehrer said, but you prepare so that you can be relaxed enough to really listen. Lehrer shared a story from the 1960s about interviewing a Senator. The interview went like this: 

Lehrer: "Should we sell more grain to Cuba?"
Senator: "Yes, Jim, I think we should sell more grain to Cuba. But first, we should bomb Havana."
Lehrer: "What kind of grain, Senator?"

This happens in small groups as well. I've watched leaders ask a question from their study guide, followed by a great discussion by the group. Meanwhile, the leader is looking down at his book. As the discussion slows down, the leader looks up and asks the next question, which was already answered during the previous discussion. The leader wasn't listening. He was thinking about his next question.

Listening is one of the most important skills a small group leader must learn. As a shepherd-leader, focus on the people in the group and prepare in such a way that you can relax enough to listen and join in the discussion.

When Jesus Isn't Able

Jesus went back to his hometown, and Mark 6:5 says, "Jesus wasn't able to do much of anything there—he laid hands on a few sick people and healed them, that's all" (The Message).

When I read this last week, it took me by surprise. Jesus ... not able to do much of anything? In the midst of healing thousands, calming storms, raising dead people to life, and feeding thousands with a Lunchable, Jesus experienced a "failure." Of course, his power was sufficient. It always is. But their stubbornness and unbelief was the obstacle to his work having any effect. The problem was not in Jesus' power; the problem was their hearts, which were hard, shallow, or full of weeds (see Mark 4:1-20 and my post about it here).

We can only imagine Jesus' dismay over the fact that he could not bring healing or insight to these people, his own friends and family. Jesus was simply too familiar to them. They knew of the Jesus from the past--the son of Joseph and Mary--but they did not know the Jesus of Today, the Son of God who had the power to bring healing and transformation to their lives. So he moved on to other places.

Hmm.... does this still happen? Have we become too familiar with Jesus (and the way we've always done things) to be healed and transformed by him? Do we know the Jesus of the past from Bible stories we learned as a child, or do we know him and how he is working Today, in our midst?

As you meet as a small group, move beyond the stories of what Jesus did. Talk about--better yet, experience--what he is doing. He is indeed present in your group meetings--right now. Don't just meet to study the Jesus of the past through Bible study. Be sure your hearts are softened and prepared to experience his presence, power, and purposes Today.

Otherwise, Jesus may have to move on to other places.

Is Blood Really Thicker Than Water?

"Blood is thicker than water."

I've given that proverb a lot of thought for a long time. The saying goes back hundreds of years and means that the bonds of family are stronger than those between friends. I know plenty of people (those who have messy relationships with their families of origin) who would argue with that opinion at even a purely sociological level. But what about spiritually?

This past week I read Mark 3, in which Jesus' mother and brothers showed up looking for him. Jesus' response is surprising:

"Who do you think are my mother and brothers?" Looking around, taking in everyone seated around him, he said, "Right here, right in front of you—my mother and my brothers. Obedience is thicker than blood. The person who obeys God's will is my brother and sister and mother" (Mark 3:33-35, The Message).

Jesus was talking about his disciples--those who had left everything to follow him. At another time, he spoke of the high cost of being his disciple. He said we as his disciples should be willing to surrender our family of origin--even our own life--to follow him and be a part of his spiritual family (Luke 14:26).

Growing up, I was taught, Friends come and go, but family is forever. That's a part of most people's worldview. Today, as a Christ follower, that saying has taken on a different meaning. I know my relationships with my brothers and sisters in Christ are eternal. I hope my relationships with my birth family are as well.

Our new birth is more important than our natural birth. When we were born again, we were born into a spiritual family--the church, the body of Christ. They are now my spiritual fathers, mothers, brothers, and sisters (see 1 John 2:12-14 for an encouragement to us as spiritual family members). I am a new person in Christ and I have a new family, and that family is my priority.

Who are these family members? Like a natural family, we have extended family members (people in our local congregation) and even "kin" (everyone who is a part of Christ's family around the world). But our real priority is our immediate family--those with whom we do life together as a small group. Your small group is your spiritual immediate family.

When you were born again, your relationships with your Christ-following friends changed. They had been water relationships. Now they are blood relationships. Just as Jesus changed water into wine (wine symbolizing his blood), Jesus makes you a part of his family. Now we're blood brothers and sisters in him!

Now, here's something truly amazing ... and vital. Jesus said that those who obey God's will are our spiritual family. Not just those who happen to be thrown into a group with us. Not just the people we meet with on Friday nights. Not just those with whom we study the Bible and pray. Jesus' definition of this spiritual family has everything to do with surrender of our own wills to obey God's will--together.

What are you doing as a leader to help your group members obey God's will? How are you pursuing God's will together as a family? Blood is thicker than water. But spiritual blood is even thicker ... and deeper.

First, Check the Heart

"How's the condition of your heart?" What would happen if you asked that question as an icebreaker before your next study? What if you asked it before a conversation with your kid? What if you asked yourself, "What's the condition of this person's heart right now?" even before sharing the gospel with someone?

I love the story Jesus told about a farmer scattering seed (Mark 4). Only those planted in the good, fertile soil can truly surrender to God's will. The conditions of the others' hearts--hardened, shallow, overwhelmed--don't allow the gospel to take root. Those folks may believe in facts about Jesus; they may accept him as the savior they need. But they have not surrendered to him--he is not Lord and Leader of their lives.

Whether leading a small group or leading a person to Christ, do I first check the condition of their hearts? What a great disservice I'm doing to them--and the Kingdom--if I ignore the condition of the heart that the seed of the gospel is being planted into.

The Holy Spirit cultivates and changes people's hearts. Remember, no one can come to Jesus unless the Father draws him (John 6:44). But he also uses us in that process. He does his work in real, healthy community. He uses our stories. He uses our leadership (follow my example as I follow the example of Christ--1 Corinthians 11:1). He uses us as his ambassadors (2 Corinthians 5:20). He uses our prayers.
 
This morning I prayed for several of my friends who have not yet surrendered to Christ, and then I also prayed a similar prayer for several members of our small group. I asked God to work on their hearts, to loosen up the ground, remove the rocks and weeds, fertilize it (make it fertile) so that his seed can take root and flourish.

By the way, How's the condition of your heart today?

Jesus' Power to Multiply

In whose hands is your small group?

This morning I read from Mark 6, which includes the account of Jesus feeding 5,000 people with five loaves of bread and two fish. I love Wiersbe's illumination in his commentary:

The miracle took place in His hands, not in theirs; for whatever we give to Him, He can bless and multiply. We are not manufacturers; we are only distributors.

—Warren Wiersbe, Bible Exposition Commentary - New Testament

What are you holding onto in your own hands today? Your small group? Your family? Your finances? Your ministry? Your job? When we place what we've been given in Jesus' hands--an act of surrender and stewardship--he has the power to multiply it. In his hands, he provides superabundantly--to overflowing (John 10:10).

Would you like to see your small group grow and multiply? Would you like Him to bless your life? It's not so much about your methods, your goals, and your abilities. It's about putting the group--and your very life--in Jesus' hands and then being a faithful steward in your role.